Correcting errors in thinking that hold us back

Sometimes our thinking gets a little muddled, here are some errors in thinking that have been made in public:

“I think gay marriage should be between a man and a woman.”

Arnold Schwarzenegger

“A friend told us his wife couldn’t have a baby because her florescent tubes were blocked?”

Colin Holford

“It isn’t pollution that’s harming the environment. It’s the impurities in our air and water that are doing it.”

Al Gore (when he was Vice President)

Sometimes we all say things in error as we have minor cranial glitches. But what about the ways of thinking we have that are not only incorrect but we just accept them as correct because they’re deep routed being established in childhood. These incorrect ways of thinking can undermine our confidence, happiness and success. In short, it’s a genuine misunderstanding. Thankfully we can put it right.

Here are just three of them:

1) Failure is OK being a failure is not OK

We’ve all experience not getting a result we want on the way to achieving a goal. When we get something wrong we call it a failure. There’s difference between HAVING a failure and BEING a failure. Failure (ie HAVING a failure) is an opportunity to learn to find a way how to do something right. You’re only a failure (ie BEING a failure) when you give in without achieving your goal. Therefore failing is OK, be brave take the action you need to take and if it doesn’t work out learn from it.

2) Confidence is not the same as arrogance

If you are good at something and you know it, it’s OK to say you are good at it. I don’t mean boast, I mean if asked and it’s appropriate then say so. If I asked a doctor, who was about to carry out an operation on me, if they were any good at surgery, the last thing I want to hear is, ‘I’m OK’. I want the doc to be confident I want to feel assured.

Arrogance is when someone thinks just because they’re good at something they’re better than anyone else as a person… I’m sorry but they’re not.

We all have our strengths and constraints that’s why we all have our part to play in the world and why we need each other.

Many of us think if we say we’re good at something others may think we’re arrogant… no they won’t.

3) To love yourself is not the same as being IN love with yourself

When we love ourselves we treat ourselves as we would treat the people we love, we are our own best friend, we do not beat ourselves up. We embrace our strengths and weaknesses. We might occasionally be disappointed and annoyed with ourselves (we all make mistakes) but we forgive ourselves, move on and make every effort to make amends, progress and grow.

When we are IN love with ourselves we become totally self-centered and no-one else matters.

I’m amazed how many of us hinder our potential because of these misunderstandings. I used to think the same way.

So, be your own best friend, whatever you are good at never be afraid to say so and never be afraid of failure.

Some of us need to be a little more like the boxing promoter Don King who once said, ‘I never cease to amaze myself. I say this humbly.”

On second thoughts… maybe not quite like Don King, but you know what I mean ;)