Resilience – Don’t blame or criticise yourself especially when you’ve done this

Recently it was my parents’ wedding anniversary. The image shows them on their wedding day.

I miss them, think about them every day and they remind me of a very important life lesson.

Well, many lessons actually. They had a MASSIVE influence on me. But, there’s one particular lesson I’d like to share with you.

I could argue about some of the decisions they made about bringing me up but where there is no argument is the fact every decision they made came from a place of love, with my best interests at heart and they did the best they could with the resources they had.

My father was Polish and my mother Italian. They arrived in this country in the late 1950s with nothing. They didn’t become great financial successes (far from it) but being proud, hard working people did factory work to pay their way and not burden the benefit system or anyone else for that matter.

They made many sacrifices for their boy. I know there were times when money was tight they beat themselves up thinking they were letting me down in some way.

How do I know? It was mentioned a couple of times when I was in my adult years.

One thing is for sure… THEY NEVER LET ME DOWN!

There may have been times when I didn’t have what I wanted but I always had what I needed. A roof over my head, heating, clothes, food in my belly and more importantly loving, encouraging, supportive parents and EVERYTHING I needed for my education and future.

I’ve heard it said that we choose our parents before we arrive on this rock. If that’s true, I chose well.

Here’s the lesson.

There are times in life when we beat ourselves up thinking we’re letting others down in some way or we think we’re not doing enough, when the reality is we’re doing far more than we give ourselves credit for.

Remember, providing you can say in your heart of hearts you’ve done the best you can, then be more forgiving of yourself than my parents were of forgiving themselves.

I know it can be challenging but do your best to let go, move on and put your energy in to something more beneficial.

As for my mum and dad, at least they knew I loved them and appreciated everything they did for me.

If all the stars in the night sky were diamonds and mine to give away, there wouldn’t be enough for me to even begin to pay them back for what they did for me.

I’m so glad I had the opportunity to tell them so :)

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